Caius Theory

Now with even more cowbell…

This is my Compiler

As some friday fun in #geekup we ended up converting the US Marines Creed to a geekier version.

This is my compiler.
There are many like it, but this one is MINE.
My compiler is my best friend. It is my life.
I must master it as I must master my life.
My compiler without me is useless. Without my compiler, I am useless.
I must run my compiler true.
I must run faster than my bug who is trying to kill me.
I must squash him before he squashes me. I will…
My compiler and myself know that what counts in war is not the warnings we squash,
the builds we create, nor the optimisations we make.
We know it is the build errors fixed that count. We will fix…
My compiler is human, even as I, because it is my life.
Thus, I will learn it as a brother.
I will learn its weaknesses, its strengths, its output, its code,
its quirks, and its errors.
I will ever guard it against the ravages of virii and disk failures.
I will keep my compiler clean and ready, even as I am clean and ready.
We will become part of each other. We will…
Before Assembler I swear this creed.
My compiler and myself are the defenders of good code.
We are the masters of our bugs.
We are the saviors of our code.
So be it, until code is compiling and there are no bugs, but compiled code.

And then jamx jumped in with the Lords Prayer

Our Compiler, who art in memory. GNU be thy name.
Thy source code come, thy will be done.
On script as it is in memory.
Give us this day our daily data, and forgive us our segfaults as we forgive those who segfault against us.
And lead us not into /dev/null but deliver us from M$,
for thine is the domain, the cpu and the peeps.
for (x=0; x<2; x++){ x=0; }